Where I Found Joy In 2023
As we near the end of a year, with one international war and one international massacre raging around us, my brain has firmly shut down. The year began with my favourite political leader resigning, citing “no more in the tank”. I was angry then, but I’m ending 2023 feeling exactly like Jacinda Ardern.
There were a lot of things that submerged me in grief. Some 5,795 children and teenagers were shot in the U.S. as of Dec. 1, according to Gun Violence Archive. So far, the U.S. has seen 621 mass shootings this year and its gun violence saga shows no signs of abating. A woman’s right to make decisions over her own body eroded further. Roe vs Wade, a landmark case I studied in journalism school in the U.S. three decades ago, was struck down this year thanks to clever conservative math. Nobel peace prize winner Malala Yousafzai described the Taliban’s restrictions on Afghan women as a kind of “gender apartheid”. Oh yes, words like apartheid and holocaust were flung out frequently during the year. One Hindi movie even shot a romantic fantasy sequence in Auschwitz amid gas chamber victims.
Two global trends I tracked closely? How misogyny became a badge of honour and how independent journalism continued its slow demise, at a pace akin to a never-ending Indian death sequence. Indians were informed that marriage between a biological man and woman was a “sacrament, a holy union and a sanskar”. Marriage equality remained a desperate wish.
Islamophobia continued to be expressed in heightened violence against Muslims and a new lingo that attached any freshly-spun word ahead of ‘jihad’: Vyapar jihad. Latest data from the National Crime Records bureau painted a bleak picture of a country whose most marginalised are increasingly taking their lives every day. This is a place where hate speech and caste crimes are rising dramatically and where Uttar Pradesh continues to be one of the worst places to be an Indian woman, NCRB data showed.
But before you start thinking my headline tricked you into reading a piece about bad news, let me share what helped me survive the year.
Shah Rukh Khan, Of Course. Pathaan released days after Ardern resigned and Khan played “our centre forward, our opening batsman...our everything” to perfection. Pathaan said his parents left him in a movie theatre and his country looked after him. He thought he would return the favour. Khan certainly returned the favour this year with Pathaan and then Jawan. Both films contained analogies to present-day India and it was a relief to watch a powerful Indian channel his grief through his work. It gave me joy that, at least on screen, Khan has the courage to speak up. And there’s still more Khan to look forward to this year.
Progressive Content. Whether it was the brilliant guests on Anurag Minus Verma’s podcast that spoke about cultural wars and the broken education system, or the books that recorded this time (no, not the multiple Savarkar biographies), I felt joy every time I consumed progressive content. My favourite author Aakar Patel’s response to present-day Indian politics has been to write a book a year—in a different genre each time. “The difference between dissent and treason had been erased because dissent against the ruler was treason,” Patel writes in his first novel After Messiah. Manoj Mitta’s Caste Pride became essential reading for every Indian. It was originally meant to be the third volume in his trilogy on mass violence, but as Mitta investigated Dalit massacres, he realised that he needed to go beyond the violence to show how caste prejudice existed in every institution, from way before this nation was formed. Five more 2023 book recommendations are here, here, here, here and here. Independent news organisations and YouTube creators fought censorship, trolls, and stricter laws to continue their eyewitness journalism. That certainly made me happy.
Women In Sport. Yes, the wrestlers protest story disappeared from the headlines some time in June. But for half the year, thanks to the unprecedented courage of our women wrestlers, we got a ringside seat into the sickness in Indian sport. We actually saw firsthand all the obstacles our sportswomen must surmount on their way to international success. Their courage filled me with joy. There were many uplifting women and sport moments, especially from the Women’s World Cup. One of my favourites was when Australian footballer Sam Kerr gave her jersey to a young fan watching the match. The little girl’s face when she got the jersey is reason for every parent to ensure they introduce their daughters to the joy of sport. It was the year Coco Gauff won her first Grand Slam title and became the highest paid female athlete. Then there was Shafali Verma, the cricketer who led India to victory in the first edition of the U-19 T20 World Cup at the start of the year. Both Gauff and Verma are 19.
Retail Therapy. These days my phone has more access to the secrets of my body than my husband. It knows what makes my heart race and exactly how fast it races. It can even estimate the calories burned in a workout that the husband and I have patented for years: MYOB or the make your own bed workout. When the Apple Watch went on sale recently, a friend convinced me to buy myself one. It’s barely been two weeks but already life seems changed. All you early adopters who acquired a smartwatch years ago are likely rolling your eyes. Some of you more likely identify with pieces about the tyranny of smartwatches and you believe that the smartest thing you’ve done is to give yours up. Well, humour me. I feel joy every time I close my activity rings.
Friends And Family. Progressive folks banded together. Our hearts lifted when we rediscovered extended family members who still believed in syncretism and the universality of the human experience. For those of us increasingly estranged from prejudiced families, the idea of friends as family acquired deeper meaning. Even as old friends slipped away, new friendships bloomed, as people bonded with the common goal of healing and reconciliation. The next generation stepped up, my teenager spoke up against Islamophobia. Likeminded humanists built safe spaces and held others up best as they could. Somehow, we grew, matured, thrived in 2023.
Priya Ramani is a Bengaluru-based journalist and is on the editorial board of Article-14.com.
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of BQ Prime or its editorial team.
